I've heard that a lot from people of late, because I've
chosen to give up television (and Hulu/Netflix/Amazon Prime) for Lent. With one morale related lapse (my house was
down, so I ordered a Guardians of the Galaxy Night) and assuming my willpower
won’t erode in the next 6 days, I’ll have done it.
But why? While most Lutherans (and I do still consider
myself a Lutheran, albeit a heretic, and not ELCA) do observe Lent, I do not
remember ever giving up anything for Lent.
Nor do I remember non-Catholic friends giving up anything, but Catholic
friends, yes. I remember a friend who
gave up pizza for lent in High School, but then we were on a fieldt rip on a paddle
wheeler, and all we had was pizza…
So why this year?
Well, part of it is a matter of Will.
I am a heretic, if a well read one.
I’m looking at old practices and rituals, to bring me closer to
G_d. I wanted to see if I could make a
commitment to Him and myself, and give up something that is common and
everyday. It has been enlightening on
many levels.
First few days were, of course, the hardest. To (maybe incorrectly) use the term from Judaism,
my yetzer ra, was trying loopholes. “You
could watch Prime on the computer, that’s not breaking it… Catholics eat meat on Fridays…” and I was
tempted. As I’m fond of saying, I’m a
Hermit, not a Saint. Then, it got
easier. I listened to audiobooks and the
radio. I've been listening to the Bible
as well, I read more. The temptation was
still there, but I resisted.
The more I did, the more I realized what the purpose of the
sacrifice was to me. It started as
proving I could do it, but it evolved into something more. A realization that I didn't *need* what I
gave up. A separation from the
distraction and the ensnarements of the mortal world. Does that sound vaguely Gnostic? Maybe, but I don’t know that I’m in a hurry
to catch up on The Flash, Agents of Shield, or any of the other shows I enjoy.
I joked years ago, I gave up organized religion for
Lent. It’s not far from the truth, I
left the ELCA years ago, in part because of their stance on Israel, and in part
because they seemed to be embodying the worst aspects of a hierarchy. Checking over the ELCA webpage, the repeating
of the lies of Ferguson, their condemnation of Israel’s right to build in their
own lands, and other official documents do not make me regret this choice.
So this past Lenten season has gone from a challenge to a
revelation, and has strengthened myself in a dark time. He has again shown me the Way, and maybe a new
view in the complexities of how His will, self-determination, and the promise
of His Son all interact into one greater whole.
So while it is a time of great grief, amplified for me with the upcoming
anniversary of losing Donna, it’s been a quite time of revelation as well.
